I’ve had very glooming days- Iyalode Adunni Bankole

I’ve had very glooming days- Iyalode Adunni Bankole

Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole, the Iyalode of Gbagura land, Ogun State, is a journalist’s delight any day. The step-mother of the former Speaker of the House of Representatives, Hon.Dimeji Bankole, was at her best as she provided answers to the questions thrown at her. Always an eyeful at any social gathering, Iyalode Bankole denied being an extravagant dresser. In this interview with SEGUN AJIBOYE, the British-trained media practitioner and public relations expert, talked about her life, secrets of her good look and what lessons she picked from dealing with people.
Excerpts:

I was brought up to see life on its simple side. Aside a matter of fact, simplicity rules my life. A lot of people screen their calls, I regard such people as people who believe life is acting. But to me, life is as simple as the daybreak and sunset. There is nothing to life but what you make of it. And if you approach life from the simple side of it, you are likely to understand people and what life is all about, and thereby live a fulfilling life. And you must know that living a fulfilling life is not about being rich or occupying a top position.  It has to do with your personality, what you believe in and what you are. My daily life preaches simplicity, love and accepting others as if they are yours and that the other person is as good as you are. So I have been able to live life without the usual paraphernalia that people believe must come with having a name or being a person of repute. I don’t need a personal assistant, and of course, I am down-to-earth person. If you call me and I don’t feel like talking to you, I may simply tell you ‘please I don’t want to talk now’ and ask you to call another time.

At this point of your life, would you say you are fulfilled?

I thank God. I thank Him to a great extent because life is paradoxical. Life is such a complex thing that it is very difficult to understand and go about. You see, life is one big endless thing that each person, no matter how long he lives, will only a little portion of life. And it is what you make of that small portion that you see that will make you who you’ll be and leaves your impression on the sand of time. Some people die, and within little period, they are completely forgotten. And some people would die, and for generations, something would always be said about them. So if you are lucky to be alive, then try your best to approach life well. Living a fulfilled life or being fulfilled as a person is not a generalized thing. It is something that you only get by your own choice. Being fulfilled in life has many definitions, it is personal. Some people keep wanting to be fulfilled, and till they breathe their last, they are not fulfilled. But when you map out a strategy or goals for yourself, you can get fulfilled at different stages of life. All you have to do is thank God and move on to the next stage. But when you want to do so many things at the same time, you want to attain too many heights at the same time or be so many things at the same time, you may end up not being anything. So being fulfilled is all about yourself and how you see life.

You sound philosophical…

Cuts in… I am indeed vey philosophical, but many people don’t know this because I rub my make-up, and I also a deep person and not shallow in my thinking. This is the way I approach life day-to-day. Recently, one of my children came to me and said ‘mummy, we are giving away too much food’. I told her no matter the amount of food we give out, we can never go hungry. Our store will always be full, and I believe that enough food for ten people to eat can also be enough for twenty people to eat and be fulfilled. I thank God that nothing rattles me. Nothing gives me sleepless nights. The times that have tough times in my life have been times when people disappoint me, though not materially. In the past, I had the belief that a lot of people were like me. I have had occasions when I ask people ‘why are you like thing?’ And the answer had been ‘do you think everybody would be like you?’ Some people believe that you have to cheat to be successful in life. Some even believe that you have to steal or blackmail.

There was a recent report that you are now a born-again. What informed this?

I have been born-again for a long time.

How come people are just knowing about this?

Maybe people just choose to know now. I became born-again in Kris Okotie’s church in 1995.

I was going to ask you if all you’ve talked about informed your being born-again?

No. I’ve always been like this since childhood. I was a child who would see things from a different angle, totally different from how many other people, even elderly people would view it. They would often ask ‘is this girl a fairy spirit?’ But you see, all these are from intuition. These are things you don’t learn, they come naturally to you as a person.

What kind of background do you have?

My parents are from Abeokuta. My father, God bless his memory, was an a chartered accountant and a banker. My mother is an educationist. My parents were very educated. I am the first child of my family, and I have several brothers and sisters.

Were you naughty as a child?

I wasn’t naughty. I was actually a Tomboy, an incessant hard worker. I always liked to work. As a matter of fact, I would go to about four or five houses away from our house to ask if they had jobs for me to do for them.

What types of jobs did you do for them?

I would wash their clothes and other chores. If they had little children, I would be the one to take them to school and play with the kids. But immediately they start cooking, I would run away because I never used to eat. And of course, with my mum, you never had to eat outside. I enjoyed working with people, and it has stuck with me till today. My philosophy is that you can only get tired when there is no more work to be done. That’s the way I learnt to live, and that’s the way I’ve always lived.

Did you receive payment for your effort?

It was free of charge. I did not have any reason to be hungry because our house was always full of food. It was just that I was someone that could never be idle. Even up till this time, I still cannot stand idleness.

How close were you to your parents?

I was very close to my father. He was very fond of me. I wasn’t an obstinate child that gave my problems. Rather, my parents got good reports about me from people and neighbours all the time. I was a very loved child, not by my parents alone, but by everybody around me.

So what was schooling like?

School was great. I went through school well, primary, secondary and then I went to England where I studied. I am a journalist and public relations practitioner by training.

Did you ever work with your certificates?

I did. Before I went to England, I worked as a reporter with Radio OYO in Ibadan. After I came back from England, I worked with the public relations department of a bank before I veered into business.

And what was the experience like?

It was okay, the same Tomboy experience. I got on very well with all my bosses. And the other side of me that don’t really know about is that…my call me a jester because I love to crack jokes a lot, unusual jokes, but packed with meanings.

How did you come about all these traditional titles?

I cannot really explain it myself. All I know is that one came, and others `started coming. And before I could count, there were already 15 titles, and I have had to reject about seven.

I want to assume that your mum is also a mum.

My mum is the Iyalode of Owu Kingdom in Abeokuta, while I am the Yeye Mokun of Owu Kingdom.

How do you reconcile these traditional titles and your being a born-again Christian?

As far as my philosophy is concerned, chieftaincy titles and being a Christian do not go against each other. If you are not ritualistic and fetish, I see no reason why you cannot be a chief. Being a chief is a duty call, and it has nothing to do with your being a Christian. I know some Obas who conduct praise and worship in their palace and also go to church. The two roles don’t clash.

What responsibilities do these titles confer on you?

They are quite a lot. But you cannot satisfy them all, you just try your best. It is the Lord that gives titles to man. The physical manifestation only happen when you come into the world.

I’ve observed that your house is full of people, especially children…

Cuts in…That’s me for you. None of them is my biological child. They are all nephews, nieces and family members. You’ll always find me in the midst of children. And people love to be with me.

Are you a politician?

You are right if you call me a politician, and you are still not wrong if you say I am not a politician.

You work in the background?

I am in the forefront working for people to come up.

Are we likely to see you come out for an elective post one day?

I may if the call is strong enough and I weigh it. There are determiner factors in politics, especially if you are a woman. Marriage may be a factor, child-bearing may be another factor. But sometimes, as you advance in life and your hands are a bit free, then you can do more for politics.

Even at your age, you still look beautiful. What is your beauty routine?

I hear that all the time. But because I don’t know anything about being beautiful, you see people say that to me a lot. But my answer had always been that it is God.

You mean you don’t have any special beauty therapy?

Nothing. I am as drab and monotonous as anything. I can bathe with any soap, baby soap. And I have bathe with the same soap for 32 years. Sometimes, I don’t even rub cream.

And your fashion?

My fashion is self-made. I have a picture of how I want to look. I only dress to suit myself.

You mean you don’t have a particular fashion designer?

Yes I have a fashion designer, but it is not the expensive one. I am one that would sew a dress for about N40, 000. I like to wear simple things. For example, my iro and buba, has become synonymous with me.

The title of Iyalode conjures a kind of fear into people. How do you view this?

 One thing is that feel oh when they hear about Iyalode. But the truth is that you can still be simple as an Iyalode. You have to be self-restraint and disciplined. This is something that I have been able to maintain over the years.

How are you able to cope with life as a celebrity?

I have to go without a lot of things. I have to be under a lot of restraints and caution about where I go, who I meet and the group I mix with and the decision I make. If you look at me as Iyalode, you’ll realize that it has become synonymous with a lot of things. I cannot be excessive in anything, and I cannot afford to be selfish in any way. At the same time, I have to be firm and upright. If you mention Iyalode today, the first name that would come to your mind is Adunni Bankole, though it may not be me. I have had experiences whereby people will bring out pounds note for me to sign autograph whenever I am in Europe. I have had to get off a bus before my destination because people who I didn’t know would recognize me and want to say hello to me. Because of this, I have to be very careful. And of course, when you have a big name like the Iyalode, and you don’t have money, then you have to be careful. What I do is that I sell and buy on plenty of goodwill that I have built over the years. What would cost some people millions to buy, sometimes, I just have to draw on my goodwill to get it done.  But people want to believe that I am very rich.

How has your training as PR person helped?

It has helped a great deal. I have been managing myself. Life is as you see it and as you want to live it. In the course of life, you will meet with different kinds of people. But you still have to maneuver yourself and survive.

You have moved to a remote part of Ikorodu. Why this?

This place is a retirement home for me. I want to rest and be near nature.

There is a story that you may build a church. How true is this?

What I have in mind is not a church. The calling is that of a praise centre and a inter-denominational centre. It does not matter which church you belong to, you can just stop by and praise God and go. There would a 24-hour musical band to sing and praise God.

Do you ever get angry?

Yes I get angry.

What would make you angry?

Little things make me angry. I react to things as they come. I don’t like pretences because I don’t like to pretend.

So what would make you happy?

I like good people. I like people who are generous and who believe in themselves. Whenever I am in the midst of such people, I feel very good. I like people who are natural with themselves. I have realized that a lot of believe put acting into their lives. They are on a stage, and you cannot get anything real out of them. I cannot stand such people. I don’t like people who make me feel on edge. I don’t like people who are bitter. And I don’t like people who view life as war. For them, everything is war. I have had to live with people like these. They try to put you in shackles. I have seen people who are not as old as I am die. So why should I waste my precious life fighting a war that is not necessary. Some people deliberately want to make you look bad. But I have come to discover that they are actually the bad ones, and they have a complex about being good. So they want to make the world believe that you are bad. They are happy when you are sad. They toy with your emotions and play with your life.

Have you had encounters with such people?

Yes I have.

How did you deal with them?

I had no choice other than to deal with them. For a long time, I was their victim until the Lord set me free. But now, you either accept me as I am or you leave me as I am. The greatest joy I derive is to make people happy. If anybody still doesn’t like me after growing through fire, then you just have to leave me alone.

What particular experience, good or bad, that has remained stuck with you?

It cannot really be one good thing because God does good things that make you happy. I have had very good days. But at the same time, I have very bad days, very glooming days that people will not believe because I am happy-lucky-go person. I have had very dark days that I would say ‘but they say you go to heaven when you die. What does heaven look like?’ I have got to such extremes in my life.

DO you want to share any particular experience?

I just want to leave it at that. But I have been through a burning furnace that I felt Jesus on the crucifix. Remember I said fulfillment is personal. However, I am not complaining. All I am saying is that may God never allow me go through such experience again.